Your spouse comes first.
It's very common for kids to become our complete focus once they are a part of our family and it feels natural to do so. I mean they demand a lot of attention. They need us to clothe, feed, bath them, make sure they brush their teeth, etc. So by the end of the day, it's hard to find the energy to spend time with your husband. But if you really truly want what's best for your kids, then your husband will remain your first love.
I want to clarify that this isn't a matter of loving your husband more than your kids. It's not a competition for your heart. You don't have to choose between your spouse and your children. The love you feel and express for your kids is a totally different love than the one your express for your husband. The point is not to forget your husband in the daily rhythms of life. Remember, he is the reason you have the life your do now. Without him, your wouldn't have your children. But some day your children will grow up and leave home. You don't want your life to become so centered around your kids that on that day you wake up and realize you don't know each other any more.
Making your marriage a priority makes for a happy home. Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for. Even very young children can pick up on tension or ambivalence that is present in marriage. But this sensitivity also means that when their parents have an affectionate, loving relationship, they recognize that as well. The mood of your marriage sets the mood of the house. When children know that their parents love each other and enjoy being together, it gives them a great sense of security. There is so much stress in our daily lives for us and our kids. Home should be the place we look forward to being. It should be a place of refuge for you, your spouse, and your kids. But if your marriage is in a rough patch, then no one is happy. It's up to you and your spouse to set the temperature of your home.
Though it seems a little counterintuitive, loving your spouse to the best of your ability makes it possible for you to love your children to the best of your ability.
In other posts, I will share some of the ways my husband and I rock our marriage. (Seriously, we have an awesome marriage!) But for now, I just want to encourage you not to forget your husband. He needs you more than you know.
If you are just itching to improve your marriage and looking for some good advice, check out my "Good Reads" recommendations in this post.
Many blessings on you and your family!