I wasn't a NASCAR fan, but I grew up around it and still am surrounded by it when visiting family.  It runs in the background on Sunday afternoons, like it always has, while we talk and eat lunch together and my aunt intermittently naps in her recliner.  She’ll tell you that the sound of the cars zooming around the track is the perfect background noise for sleeping... I could agree with her there.  I took lots of naps during the NASCAR races.  

I just wasn't into racing as a kid.  Football was what I enjoyed watching!  I loved the constant action.  I couldn't see the point of watching cars go around and around while waiting for something "exciting" to happen (aka a crash).  Isn't it a little sadistic hoping for a wreck??  Ah well, to each their own.  Regardless of whether or not I was a fan, NASCAR was a part of my life growing up.

My dad and I have some pretty funny NASCAR memories from my teenage years.  Every Sunday he’d put the race on the TV and go out in the garage to work on his cars leaving the TV unattended.  I’d see it on with nobody around and either turn it off, or change the channel to watch something that I wanted to watch.  After a few minutes, I’d get bored, turn off the TV and go to my room.  He’d be working in the garage and all of a sudden come bursting through the back door and run to the TV to yell, “Who turned the TV off?!?”  I was just a teenager who didn't want to get in trouble so I would pretend I didn't hear him holler from my room upstairs.

I never understood my dad's race watching strategy until literally a couple years ago when it came up in conversation.  Apparently, while he was working in the garage, he was also listening to the race on the radio.  When he'd hear that there was a wreck on the radio, he'd run back inside to see the crash on replay (there was no DVR at this point in time) to someone had turned the TV off!  He'd frantically look for the remote (that I had inevitably put in a weird location) only to turn on the TV and find it wasn't even on the right channel.  In my defense, I never knew that this was what was going on.  I just thought he wasn't interested in the race because he would leave the TV on in an empty room. This happened MANY times over the years and we had a real good laugh about it when we both finally figured out what was going on almost two decades later! :) 

There have been a lot of good times spent with my family watching NASCAR, and some fun memories. However, there is one memory that I have never been able to shake and that made me determined not to become a fan...

On November 20 of 2011, Michelle Obama was asked to deliver the quintessential line, "Gentlemen, start your engines."  She and Jill Biden took the opportunity to also promote the Joining Forces Initiative that connects military veterans with jobs.  She  and Jill Biden stood in front of that crowd alongside Sgt. Andrew Barry (a military sniper who was wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan), his wife and four children.  Let me also add that Sgt. Barry is white, his wife is black and his children are mixed.  When they all reached the podium, NASCAR spectators BOOED Michelle Obama.

I still get angry when I recall this.  It was horrible enough that they booed her, but what about that family and those kids who were probably scared out of their wits to be standing in front of a huge crowd of angry adults.  What was going through their minds?  I wonder what their memory of the event is.  I distinctly remember the shame and embarrassment I felt as a white Southerner seeing that happen; because I knew WHY it was happening.  It was appalling and despicable, and what interest I had in the sport leading up to that moment immediately evaporated.

I bet some of you are getting your hackles up because you feel like I’m calling you a racist.  Let’s be clear, I’m not saying that you are a racist or that all NASCAR fans are racist.  But can you honestly deny that red-neck racism runs deep in NASCAR culture?  

It is estimated that 90% of NASCAR fans are white.  Why is that?  If you've been to a race, can you tell me in complete honesty that a black or Hispanic person would feel comfortable and safe there?  If you answer, no, then why do you think that is?  Among many other things, do you think that, maybe, just maybe, the Confederate flag might have a little something to do with it?  

White southerners cling to the Confederate flag and the Confederate statues as a part of their "heritage."  Heritage is defined as "something that has been passed down from generation to generation: a tradition."  So, I have to ask, what "tradition" is the Confederate flag representing?  What part of history are you so desperately clinging to?  Do you want to go back to a confederacy?  If so, how can you justify flying a UNITED States flag alongside a flag that is a sign of dissent?  Are you clinging onto the good old days of the Old South?  If you are, it is impossible to separate the Old South from the oppression of blacks and that flag is inherently a racist symbol.

The South's entire economy was built on the backs of slaves.  The more slaves you owned, the richer and more powerful you were.  This is an indisputable fact.  The Old South/Confederacy represents a time when white males (female oppression is another issue altogether) were considered genetically superior to all other races and were given free reign to rule with an iron fist.  Is that what you are clinging to?  Is that what you represent?  Because that is what the flag says to me, a white Southerner.  And it sure as heck is the message it sends to blacks no matter how you try to spin it.  The Confederate flag reminds us all of a time that whites should be ashamed of and blacks are saddened and infuriated by.  It is a part of history and it is important that we not forget our history lest we repeat our mistakes; but it should not be a part of our "heritage" anymore. 

The fervor with which many Southerners cling to their Confederate flags and large base of NASCAR fans they comprise if why I was stunned, absolutely stunned, on June 10th when NASCAR announced it is banning the Confederate flag.  I was beyond excited, but in shock.  I never would have predicted NASCAR to take this stand.  And if that wasn't enough, they let Bubba Wallace paint BLACK LIVES MATTER on his car!  What the what!  It filled me with so much hope.  The protests are working, this is visible progress!

And then, and THEN, a noose appeared in Bubba Wallace's garage before the race.  A noose!  Are you freakin' kidding me!  It doesn't get anymore despicable.  I seethe with anger again.  Everytime there is progress for equality, racism rears its ugly head! 

And then, this happens...

Instead of simply announcing disapproval of the heinous act and moving on with the race, in a sign of solidarity and support NASCAR comes alongside their sole black driver.  As the racers and crews march behind Bubba Wallace, it is a reminder that the protests against racism and for equality are effecting change.  It is a statement that "it is always the right time to do what is right."  It renews my hope and, for the first time, I feel pride in the fact that I come from a family of NASCAR fans.  My family has tried to convince me to like NASCAR for years, but NASCAR itself might have finally won me over.  

"All Lives Matter" rebuttals have coalesced in response to the "Black Lives Matter" protests erupting across the globe.  Yesterday, I saw a horrific video of a few white individuals re-enacting George Floyd's death while proclaiming that "Black lives matter to no one."  Behind them was an all too familiar sight: an American flag proudly brandished alongside an Trump sign of equal size... And there it is... 

The American flag = Trump. 
Trump is America. 
Trump is the answer. 
Trump is America's hero. 
Trump is America's only hope.

He has brainwashed a majority of us into believing this.  The rest of us, he has shamed into feeling like we cannot fly an American flag or else we are supporting him.  If things don't change, the sight of the American flag is going to be as inflammatory as the Confederate flag. 

Red, White and Blue: white signifying purity and innocence, red, hardiness and valor, and blue,   signifying vigilance, perseverance and justice.  The flag flying is a beautiful sight.  It represents the American spirit of independence, justice, and equality.  Seeing a flag at half mast immediately provokes me to feel solidarity and pray.  Seeing the flag flying, for me, used to evoke images of soldiers fighting for freedom and democracy in the world.  When I see the flag displayed outside my neighbors' house (it has been there long before Trump), I know it is because he is a retired colonel who is proclaiming pride in the fact that he once served our country by putting his life on the line.  But, if I didn't know them, I would just assume that they were staunch Trump supporters passively-aggressively yelling at me to become more American.

My youngest attends a very diverse school: Hispanic (37%), White (34.3%), and African American (20.5%).  The thought has crossed my mind many times in the past couple of years that, as a white person, I would never wear anything with the American flag on it to pick up my daughter from school.  If I did, I am afraid that the Hispanic and Black parents in the pick up area would assume that I supported Trump and, ipso facto, that I did not care for or support them or their children.  Every time this thought crosses my mind, I am overwhelmed with fury!

I am so tired of being made to feel like I am un-American if I don't support Trump.  In reality, he is about as un-American as they come.  I thought this was supposed to be a land of opportunity and equality, of freedom of speech and religion, of acceptance no matter your race or creed.  He has claimed America as his and declares those who do not adhere to his doctrine as "enemies" and "terrorists."  I am am so tired of it.   

This angst within me has been so bottled up that I've been protesting from within the confines of our house.  My dominate decorating colors are red, white, and blue.  If you visited me and saw my red and blue decor and red and blue plaid tablecloth (and didn't know me well) you would make assumptions about my political viewpoints - most of which would be incorrect.  However, I have not been brave enough to fly the flag outside our house because I don't want to be viewed as standing in solidarity with Trump.

This has bothered me for quite some time and this morning I thought of a way to be able to fly the American flag while still communicating that I do not support Trump.  I plan to purchase a Black Lives Matter Flag and American Flag and to fly them together.  

I really don't want to lose our American flag, but if we don't change the political rhetoric associated with it, you will see calls to have it redesigned and people will begin fighting all over again.  

I am suggesting that those of you, like me, who want to reclaim the American flag for all of America take a peaceful stand and start changing the imagery associated with it.

It will take a few weeks for me to receive a Black Lives Matters flag and get it flying alongside the American flag, but I will let you know how it goes.  I'm a little scared of the backlash, but enough is enough.  To quote one of the peaceful protesters, Gini Gerbasi, who was gassed for Trump's Bible propaganda shot, "I am now a force to be reckoned with."  

I hope those of you who feel the same as I do will find ways to reclaim the American flag for all of America; and if you have any suggestions for how to do this, please share in the comments. 

​In Solidarity,
Amy